Claudia called Dave and said they should get ready for dinner. Once Id heard them leave I lifted the magazine off my face. Julie was sitting on the ot...er side of the pool, directly opposite and was just gazing at me. Now, normally, I have no trouble at all knowing what Julies thinking – because she tells me. A refreshingly open and direct woman is my wife. But I just couldnt decipher the look she had trained on me at that moment. It seemed to be a mix of accusation (or was that my. "No, sweet child, no," he said, "gay is indeed a state of mind. But thesecret is, being homosexual makes it so much better."I giggled.And then I had an aha moment. I realized, right there, at that moment,that I was gay. It hit me, just like that. I am a male, albeitfeminine-acting and dressing, and I've made love to and been fucked byanother male, one demonstrating all the textbook qualities of themasculine.So I was gay. I'd discovered myself.That's the best present Santa gave me.Myself.He. I'd tried to get laid all through high school, finally succeeding the summer after graduation. It wasn't one of the cheerleaders as I'd always fantasized, but one of the 'nerd girls' most of us had always ridiculed. She didn't have much in the way of breasts, but she was willing after we had dated a few times. She was just as eager as I had been to lose the title of 'virgin'.Anyway, I left in August for college, about a hundred miles from home. I knew a couple of other guys from my high school. I left her standing and yelling at the rear of my car while I retrieved the bag of goodies I had bought at the adult store. She continued to angrily scream at me in Spanish. Good thing a ball-gag had been included in my purchases at the bookstore."NO!" She screamed when I tried to push the ball into her mouth. When I pushed a little harder to insert the ball between her lips, she clamped her mouth shut and sharply turned her head.She quieted some when I walked behind her and gently stroked her.
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